A Small-Town View of Other Ethnic Groups
Today Sam, age 9, got into the car and told me about a couple of conversations he had at school. The first was with a boy in his class who claimed that for his birthday, he was going to Japan and taking Sam with him. The second was with a boy who claimed that the Chinese have made a REAL “Sonic” character, like the one in video games.
After Sam exasperatedly told me both of those stories, he said, “I don’t know why, but African Americans tend to lie.”
Now before you flame me or my son, hear me out.
Sam is my only son who has never attended school outside of this town in Alabama. My other children remember our time living in Atlanta. There, they were surrounded by people of all races and socio-economic backgrounds.
And that is a huge difference. Sam’s only experience here is that both African Americans and Hispanic people live in low-income areas, and a very few are bussed into his elementary school district. He freely befriends all kids–in fact, he was the only white kid invited to one of their birthday parties just a week ago. But he cannot understand the differences he perceives.
I talked through the socio-economic makeup of our city. The black people still live on the other side of the railroad tracks. In fact, there is one African American family in our neighborhood, and when we first moved here we were told that it was okay because the dad was a former MLB Baseball player. Whatever.
Sam and I talked through how being one of the only “poor” kids in a school might make someone tempted to say things that are untrue to try to bolster others’ view of you. We discussed what it must feel like to be bussed in when everyone else rides in a car or walks to our small, neighborhood school. These boys do not attend school with their neighbors. Most of them are in single parent households. Many do not have central a/c. Some live in apartments. And because our school is a neighborhood one, which definitely has advantages, nobody else in the whole school can relate. We all have central air, we all have relatively large homes, and most have two-parent families. The carpool line is full of Suburbans, minivans, and other cars less than 7 years old. Few have dents or dings, and most sport the required soccer and basketball magnets on the back. Many families are members of the local country club, and the parents socialize at their all-white, wealthy churches. Our kids cannot understand a world like the one that these few African Americans and Hispanics live in.
And so they generalize. And if their parents are from this area, they often do not refute the stereotypes because it is all they know as well.
I long for the day when our town grows to be less ethnocentric and more open toward people of all races and classes, and when we mingle freely with everyone just because we are all human!
February 15th, 2008 at 9:34 am
This was one of my only issues with moving to the part of Michigan we live in. We had moved from southern California, San Diego. A part of that state that has a wide variety of ethnic groups. The church we attended was very diverse. We had almost every ethnic group represented. This is what Emma remembered. Her best friends at church came from very different backgrounds. She didn’t go to school yet, so this was her social interaction. We were friends with many inter-racial couples.
Now we live in Michigan, central Michigan, where I believe the rough population is about 85% white, 10% Native American & 5% other. My daughter still has friends of many races, and different abilities as well. But, I feel for the kids who have never known anything different, nor have their parents. So, the stereotypes continue, with no one to say otherwise. Sam is a lucky kid to have a mom like you.
February 15th, 2008 at 9:59 am
Our rural town is similar - blacks and white very segregated - other side of the tracks. Churches, especially, are segregated. But really I see no future where this would change. Out town has so little movement, people are leaving, not coming in, so need for change, or change-agents are derided/belittled. “This is how it’s always been, no need to change.”
When I first read the boys comments I thought, “Wow, what an imagination! He could go far with his big dreams.”
February 19th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Amanda, We lived in San Diego for a while, too. If we were still there, my kids would know kids from a LOT of ethnic backgrounds. I miss that!
Barb, we get that “this is how it has always been” a lot. Drives me nuts.