Chewymom

Someone is offended. Or so I have heard, fifth hand.

All I really know is that it is someone from my church. Who told someone, who told an entire group of people, who told someone, who told someone, who told me. I’ll admit that I’m not shocked that I’ve offended someone. I am a queen of opening my mouth to change feet. I know that I offend my children daily—I make them eat their green beans, I take away cell phone privileges, I play *“Boogie in Your Butt” as I drive up to the middle school, and I occasionally even refuse to order pizza. It offends the heck out of my gang. (*Disclaimer–the above link may, ironically I suppose, offend some of you. But I’m very juvenile, and I find it really, really funny.)

I’m guessing that this offense goes a little beyond having to eat green things at dinner or having your mother play “Boogie in Your Butt” in front of your friends, and I am also guessing that it has to do with my blog. But that’s all it is–a guess–because the offended party chose to discuss this with others, and the circle grew until it got back around to me. I do not like to offend people, and so I want to apologize. But that is made rather difficult because I don’t even know what I am apologizing for. I guess I’m not even sure if I’m sorry! I mean, I am sorry if I have hurt feelings, but I’m not sure if whatever I have said is something I would regret saying (or writing) or if it is something I would say I feel strongly about and still stand by.

And I guess that brings me to a point about this blog. I started it anonymously. I never really intended for it to become something for local friends to read. It has become that, and I have tried to get used to that idea. It’s a little weird because real-life acquaintances know intimate details about my musings, but I don’t know the same about them. My blog is where I hash out my ideas and thoughts. It is a journal that I have chosen to make public. I need to operate within the realization that it is public, and I have no doubt I should at times use a more effective filter on my brain-in-print.

I would ask that anyone (especially local folks) who reads this do so with the understanding that first, when I write about things, it isn’t always about this city, this church, etc. I have lived in five cities and been a member of seven churches in my married life. Not every issue I write about has to do with situations that my local acquaintances are familiar with, even if there does seem to be a correlation. Also, realize that I often hash out my thoughts on major issues using minor examples. I am thinking aloud. And I am currently questioning a lot of my long-held beliefs. That doesn’t mean I am questioning your beliefs, although if I make you think I don’t mind. But I am having my own mid-life crisis working through a lot of things that I have always believed just because, and I have to know if I still agree with myself. It is highly likely that you will be shocked and dismayed. That you will question my spirituality, my faith, even my sanity. I hope that you can handle that, and handle realizing that you are seeing some inner-workings of my heart that are often reserved for intimate friendships, or for the safety of an anonymous blog. If you are not comfortable with it, I would ask that you click away. Really.

And if you truly do feel that I have said something hurtful or offensive to you, I am asking that you talk to me. You can comment on here–you can even do so anonymously. Just like the people who commented on this post. Except they only think they are anonymous. (We know who you are…we have not forgotten…punishment is still forthcoming.) Or you can speak to me face-to-face. But I would ask that if you choose to continue to read my blog and find me offensive, please let me know.

And if you are one of the people who has chosen to keep the rumor mill going by passing it along that “Chewymom is offending people…” well, all I can do is point you to a little game you probably used to play in Kindergarten where you sat in a circle, and the first person made something up and whispered it to the next. And on it went back to the starting point, and then you compared the two versions. And laughed hysterically, because they were nothing alike. And hopefully learned a lesson about rumors. The lesson being that rather than being a party to spreading rumors, if you go to the source, you are more likely to find out the truth than if you keep spreading a more and more distorted version.

As usual I have said in 1000 words what could have been said in probably fifteen words or less. If I have offended you, I am sorry. And please talk to me about it. The end.

This entry was posted on Monday, May 12th, 2008 at 9:53 am and is filed under This and That. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.