Uh Oh. I’m Thinking Again. And That CAN’T be Good!
Thursday, March 6th, 2008
Over on Molly’s blog I found an excerpt from an essay written by Mark L. Strauss. And it made me think. The man spoke exactly what has been churning deep within my heart and mind for months now. Read this:
The women’s movement—both in secular society and in the church—did not arise in a vacuum. It arose in contexts where women’s voices were not heard or respected. It arose in churches where gifts and callings were ignored or demeaned. It arose in places where women who were gifted in leadership and teaching were told to sit down, shut up, and defer to their (sometimes much less gifted) male counterparts. We need to address these issues first, before we start telling women what they can and cannot do.
See, that’s the irony. I don’t think it would have ever crossed my mind to wonder if the PCA has gender roles correct if I didn’t feel devalued based on my anatomy.
I used to serve on our WIC (Women in the Church) council. The entire time I was really frustrated. I served in a position I had created–Missions Liaison. My heart was to serve missionaries and to get the women more involved in the support of missionaries. I also served on the Missions Committee. I went to WIC meetings, expecting to work through women’s issues, and I was surprised to learn that in fact, my main job was to help plan a luncheon. We met monthly, working out details like what color dots would be drawn on the paper table clothes to pretty them up, and whether to use balloons or flowers for centerpieces, and who would provide the vases, and what food to have catered. I went home with the assignment to call two pages of women to encourage them to sign up for the luncheon. I helped sell tickets and brought my dishes to compete with the other women set up a table. The frenzied planning went on for several months and finally the luncheon came off as a great success!
I relaxed and anticipated the next WIC meeting when we could get down to business. And get down to business, we did. The business of planning the Valentine’s Banquet. More of the same–decorating tables, calling women, planning the menu, selling tickets. When that was finished, we organized sending care packages to college students, and then we planned a slate of names for the next year for WIC officers and sat back, satisfied with our work for the previous year.
After two years on WIC, I felt completely and utterly useless and drained. I am not a decorator. I despise making sales calls. This was not my game and it did not tap into a single one of my strengths. I rotated off of WIC and was told that my position really wasn’t necessary anyway, so it would be dissolved. I was offended at the time, but the person who told me that was right. We were party planners, and it was not necessary to have a missions person who was party-planning-impaired on the committee.
And as I puzzle over the women in our church, I see a pattern. Women who are strong in areas like party planning, decorating, and working with children are valued. They are given jobs, and they feel satisfied with their church experience. But woe to the woman who has organizational skills and planning abilities. Heaven forbid that a woman be a deep thinker. Or worse yet, have teaching gifts. Those are a man’s job, and women had best not try to work their way into that kind of role. Best to stay on the fringes. Plan parties. Ask light, simple questions and make funny little comments in Sunday school. But don’t think. Don’t ask deep questions. Don’t discuss theology. Don’t try to teach things that you have learned.
Unfortunately there is a whole host of women who think and question. There are women gifted in organizing and leading and teaching. And I think almost every single one of them is at a point of feeling frustrated and insignificant within our church. Many of them have no desire to reconsider the PCA’s view of women. In fact, I’m not even sure if they are making a connection that their struggles may be related to their roles, or lack of roles, as women. They just know they do not feel needed or wanted as part of our body of Christ. And so they shrivel up and die inside. Many move on to other areas of involvement like the PTA or a job outside of the home, or homeschooling their children. They have retreated to the back rows of the church where they can dart out the instant church is over and not have to interact with others. Or worse, they just quit coming at all.
The involvement in other activities is not a bad thing, nor is women using their gifts outside of the local church–in fact that is good. The last thing we need is a church full of navel-gazers who never venture outside of the four walls of their church building. But it also is not a good thing to have an entire people-group within the body feeling so devalued that they can barely stand to walk through the doors, let alone to get their hearts and minds ready to worship the Creator!
Mark Strauss is a complementarian. I am not sure where I fall on the issue–I am still studying. But I do know that the essay written by Mr. Strauss resonated very deeply with me. If you are a man or woman in a church that takes a more Complementarian position on the roles of men and women, I urge you to read the essay and consider whether the church–your church even, is in sin against women. Consider how the prevailing attitude Mark addresses is fueling the fire of a radical women’s movement and agenda within our society. Consider how your church may be keeping society in general–those who may never have heard the gospel–from seeing the real Jesus. And consider how far away so many churches are from the picture Jesus gives us of men and women together being necessary parts of the body. And not just if they know how to decorate. All men and all women have value, and should be free to use the gifts God has given them both within the church and outside of it.
