Chewymom

Years ago, the Chewyfamily viewed Halloween with great disdain and suspicion. We, along with most of our friends at the time, refused to even call it by the name “Halloween.” We acknowledged it only as “Reformation Day” and would do fun stuff like sit around and discuss Martin Luther nailing the 95 theses to the door. A big day in protestant history, to be sure. But hardly exciting to small children!

In the late 90’s, we moved to Atlanta and decided to amend our ways and let our kids dress up and attend a church festival. That was great, but we had just moved into our new home in a great neighborhood two weeks prior. As we met neighbors over time, they expressed their disappointment that we had not trick-or-treated at their door. Many had waited to meet this young new family with the four boys that they heard had moved here. But we never came.

Here we are, ten years later, and five of the seven of us trick-or-treated. Ben had to work tonight, and Drew is at a friend’s house. The rest of us dressed up - yes, even Chewydad and me. Brig and Sam used our ancient, but still quite useful M&M costumes. Sally was a princess. I was a nun, and Scott was a monk. Making some wonder what we were doing with so many children.

When we decided to start trick-or-treating, Chewydad lamented that we had not done it before. As he said, “When else do neighbors actually WANT you to knock on their door? When else do our neighbors show up at our house?” It’s a perfect way to build relationships with neighbors.

And yet tonight, as we went from house to house, Chewydad and I became really exasperated. We wanted to get on with it - hurry from house to house. Collect as much candy as possible, you know! But Brig would stop and engage EVERY PERSON in conversation. He might ask which veterinarian they used for their dogs. And then announce that he works for a particular one. He might realize that he knew one of their children or neighbors. But whatever the conversation was about, the point was that he was engaging the person at the door. He was doing the very thing Chewydad and I claim to want to do. Getting to know the neighbors. Showing an interest - a real, genuine interest - beyond just grabbling a candy bar and moving to the next house. Brig had more in mind than just filling his candy basket. He was networking.

And you know, I have to laugh. Brig knows everybody in this town, and I often am surprised and wonder how he does it. But that’s exactly how. He engages people in conversation. People remember him when they see him around town, because he is the kid who asked after their pet, their son, their mother. He remembered that they drove the red truck, or they live in the yellow house. He has commented (positively) that they have an Auburn hat or (negatively) an Alabama shirt.

Brig challenges me constantly. Often he does it by trying my patience, or by nearly making Ben late for school. But he also does it by showing me in his own way, how to engage the world around me. He just knows how to love people. He makes them feel valued and cared about. Who else thinks to do that on Halloween?

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 1st, 2008 at 8:23 am and is filed under Mommy Musings, This and That. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.