Chewymom

Tonight I stayed up way past my bedtime, finishing the novel The Secret Life of Bees. I finally got my face washed, threw on my pj’s, stretched out in bed…and drifted off to sleep? Ummm, no. I started blogging. In my head. Does anybody else do this? No longer do I lie down and have normal thoughts go through my head, like what I need to do tomorrow, and how cute DD3 is becoming. No, I think in blog. I told this to my DH and he said, “You should jot down notes to yourself.” No. “How about keeping a tape recorder in there and record your thoughts?,” he helpfully offered. No again. I write, word for word, in my head. I’d be writing for 30 minutes. And I doubt he wants to hear me drone on and on into a little tape recorder for great lengths of time. No, the only solution is to get up and write, lest I forget any clever wording I have thought of.

So tonight, I was thinking about how I’ve written a few blogs pertaining to Walmart and my constant state of annoyance with that store. And how I’ve written many blogs about Gary Ezzo, and my similarly constant state of annoyance with him. And I was remembering back many years ago, when GFI, Gary’s for-profit “ministry” was actually making a profit. And he had lots of employees, one of whom was Frank York. And it was Frank’s job to keep an eye on the internet and inform Gary of any negative publicity.

Now, what if somebody at Walmart was doing that, even now? Like, what if Gary was the CEO of Walmart, and he gave someone the job of monitoring the internet for negative publicity? I know, it would actually take an entire army of internet-surfers, but still, let’s imagine. And let’s just pretend that my itty-bitty blog (whose site-meter is about to lag seriously behind that of my DH, by the way) was important and profound enough to be noticed. Well, I was thinking this might be a good thing, because then Gary would know that someone out there wants Stonyfield yogurt and bay leaves to be carried on their shelves. And he’d now that they are completely out of both soap and hot water at our Walmart. And they could fix both problems and have at least one potentially happy customer!

But then the dream/vision/boring blog came to a screeching halt. Wait. This is Gary we’re talking about. Darn it. That means I would be villianized and spoken of as evil for wanting organic yogurt to begin with. Think of all the Yoplait workers going out of business because of me. And how incredibly spoiled my children will become because they have been eating organic yogurt. And besides, if you give those employees the choice of having warm water and soap, soon they’ll be demanding pay raises and better treatment for women. And we can’t have that now, can we? Only weak-willed, ungodly employers give in to the tantrums of their employees. No, in fact, if they ask for soap, and warm water, let’s just take away their toilet paper, too. That’ll teach them to be demanding little employees.

So nevermind. I think I’ll take the evil Walmart just the way it is. And I’ll send Gary back to his garage to fill his dwindling GKGW orders. And now that I’ve finished that off, along with a slice of veggie pizza, I’ll once again attempt to sleep. Preferably without the running blog-commentary.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 at 11:14 pm and is filed under GFI/Ezzo/Babywise. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.