Chewymom

Okay, I’m not trying to pick on anyone at Intellectuelle, or even on anyone who happens to disagree with me. But Bonnie has made me actually think now. My line of thinking probably isn’t going the direction she would prefer….But here goes.

Bonnie says, “Why inundate impressionable minds with darkly suggestive imagery, or participate in an activity that could lead to spiritual confusion down the road? Why risk taking advantage of innocence?” My first reaction was to almost laugh out loud. I pray that I don’t sound mean-spirited here–that’s not my intention. And that I wasn’t laughing in a mean way. But I thought back to how I used to anticipate Halloween each year. It was SO MUCH FUN! There was the thinking through and planning what to be for Halloween. Then finally the day came when we could dress up! And we’d meet up with friends, even when I was very young and going around with my dad, and walk through the neighborhood. There was the thrill of getting the “good” kinds of candy. The “oh darns” when we were handed a box of raisins. The apple-bobbing pool that was there, every single year at the house around the block. The haunted house set up in the Walton’s shed out back. The yummy-ness of eating lots and lots of candy–of having the rules about not eating candy thrown out for a few hours. The thrill of staying up past our normal bedtime! All wonderful, fond memories!

My impressionable mind was never filled with dark, suggestive imagery. Only the Ouiji board I got for my birthday one year, and the This Present Darkness book by Frank Peretti did that, many years after my first trick-or-treating experience. Peretti definitely had me spiritually…well, maybe not confused, but definitely paranoid. I saw demons in every corner for months! And I grew more curious about “dark” things.

And then there’s Bonnie’s line about risking taking advantage of our children’s innocence. And that’s when my thoughts immediately went to GFI. We used that “children’s innocence” phrase to justify so many things. And it all boiled down to one thing–spiritual snobbery. Well, ok, more than one thing. It was also presumptuous–assuming that God couldn’t or wouldn’t protect our children, so we should take matters into our own hands. We barely let our kids mingle with neighborhood kids, and we certainly didn’t ever let them go to someone’s home. And it isn’t that we don’t try to shield them now. But the paranoid edge has been taken off. We have learned to trust our kids, trust our neighbors and friends, and most of all, to trust God. And to discuss everything–yes, even sexual things and dark things–with our kids.

I know of a family who did much to protect their childrens’ innocence as well. Rather than let their kids play with the neighborhood kids, they had lots and lots of their own. (Before you get on my case about being anti-large family, remember that my family is rather…ummm…large-ish!!) On the rare occasion that a neighbor-kid wandered into their yard, they were watched (and listened to) closely. And at the first sign of anything bad, they were banished from the yard. And what kind of reputation do you think this family enjoyed with the neighbors? Do you think others looked on and thought, “What a godly family! So Christ-like! I want what they have!” No, they thought, “Those people are kind of different, keep to themselves, and aren’t very nice to our kids.” And I’m telling you all about that family because it was an “ah-hah!” for me. A “so that’s how we must’ve looked to others” moment.

And I know I’m wandering far, far away from the point of Bonnie’s post. But that whole “innocence” thing just brought me back to a time in my own parenting journey where innocence and protection were of the utmost importance to me. Even more important than…well…trusting God with my children! And that is wrong. Even at Halloween. And I’m not saying Halloween is “right” for every family. Each child has been given his parents by design, and God knows what each child needs. And if parents believe that it is right for them to shield their own child from anything “dark,” so be it. In our own family, we have chosen to open up, loosen up, and stay tight and close with our children through discussion and dialogue and trust. And we are finding that they are no less innocent as a result. But they are becoming thinking Christians, which is our goal. To have children who can think through any life-situation in which they might find themselves, and be able to decide how to act in a Christ-like and God-honoring way.

Now I’m back off to help the little ones (besides my princess) decide exactly what to be for Halloween! And I’m in a hurry because they are supposed to wear their costumes on Friday!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 at 6:04 am and is filed under GFI/Ezzo/Babywise, Mommy Musings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.