Chewymom

In my psychology class, we were given the following scenario to write about. It is a hard one, but I attempted to tackle it, and I thought I would post my essay on here:

Travis is gay. One of his classmates, who admits that he thinks that homosexuality is a sin, asked, “Why don’t you go to therapy and get over your problem?” Travis says he doesn’t have a problem. Does Travis need therapy to “get over” being gay?

This is a loaded question to try to deal with in a secular psychology class, but I want to take a stab at it for several reasons, one being to help me “think on paper” about my own views. I recognize about myself that I do not like controversy, and I tend to be “people pleaser,” so it hard to share a view that some might find disagreeable. Still, I know there are probably inconsistencies in my view, and I hope writing about it will help me think this through. I am also, as another student stated, open and interested in hearing other classmates’ views on what I wrote.

First, is homosexuality a sin? Well, yes. Don’t stop reading yet. Frankly I think that a whole lot of things are sin–most of which go on in Christian churches. And that’s okay, and even how it should be. The church is full of people who struggle with gluttony, pride, and anger. We fail to help the poor, we are not friendly toward our neighbors. We gossip, we complain, we are wasteful. We do not treat animals well. (Okay, maybe the favorite family dog–but what about how we support the cruelty of factory farming by eating regular grocery store meat?) We hate liberal politicians and do not support widows and orphans. We waste time, we demand our rights behind the wheel of a car, and we spend money on things we don’t really need. Folks, those are all sinful things.

Travis’s classmate thinks he needs therapy for being gay. I do not agree with that assessment. The American Psychological Association states that, “The reality is that homosexuality is not an illness. It does not require treatment and is not changeable.” It goes on to state, “Any person who enters into therapy to deal with issues of sexual orientation has a right to expect that such therapy would take place in a professionally neutral environment absent of any social bias.” While it may seem contradictory to what I stated above about sin, I think some people are born with a tendency toward a certain sexual orientation. If you look at the other things on my “sin list,” there are quite a few that people are born with a propensity toward. Heck, just think of all of the overweight people you know who say, “it’s genetic…I have big bones…my whole family struggles with their weight.” Or alcoholism–that definitely is something some people are born with the potential to struggle with.

If Travis wants to be a real friend, he needs to quit worrying about the homosexuality issue. He needs to get to know his classmate as a person. He needs to be willing to see beyond the label and understand what makes this person tick. What is his favorite color? Does he like sports, music, writing? What are his life goals and dreams? Then if Travis is really worried about this person spiritually, he needs to share his faith. Not his view of this friend’s lifestyle–but he needs to share that God is in the business of loving those who do things that are sinful. And everyone of us engages in those things each and every day. We don’t love God with our whole heart and we don’t love others as much as ourselves. If we did, we wouldn’t spend money just to pamper ourselves (because we deserve it) and we wouldn’t race that Mazda for the closest parking space or yell at the Jeep that cuts us off on the freeway. When Travis talks about sin, it does not need to be as one righteous person talking down to a sinful one. It needs to be as one who can say, “Boy, are we in the same boat. It’s a good thing God knows our hearts and loves us and wants a relationship with us!”

If Travis’s friend accepts Travis’s faith as his own, should Travis then worry about getting his friend into therapy? I’m not sure therapy is what his friend needs. Although I do not view myself as “homophobic,” this may be where others would say that I am. I do think that as with pretty much anything we do that was not happening in the Garden of Eden, we frankly need to not do it. (Did that sentence make sense??) While Travis may always have a bent toward homosexual things, I do not think it ideal that he continues to act on those. I believe that God’s design for sexual relationships is that they occur between one man and one woman. It makes sense even from a biological/evolutionary standpoint that male/female relations are the norm. Clearly the one man/one woman idea is not the norm within our society (or even within the church–just look at the many “fallen” public church leaders!). I don’t know that Travis’s friend can ever or should ever expect to “get over” his orientation. Ideally, this friend would not continue to act on his tendencies, but it would not be because he was coerced into that decision, but because his desires have changed and he no longer wants to act on them.

Hopefully Travis’s friend (and all of us) could grasp that when we live within the confines of the order God has ordained in all of life, it brings life and peace. It doesn’t mean it is easy–that we don’t strive and struggle with every fiber of our being. But there is peace. That is the message Travis should offer his friend–that he truly is a friend, that he hopes his friend will share his faith, and that there is peace and hope to be found.

This entry was posted on Friday, November 3rd, 2006 at 7:31 am and is filed under Personality plus!, This and That. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.