You Love Your Baby … Obsessively So
It’s no secret that we adore our babies. Some of us are slightly obsessed (yours truly). There are no shortages of signs, signals and words that parents use to show their babies how much they love them.
My girl is fully aware just how tripped up I am over her. I can’t get enough. Sometimes, I have to remind myself that she can’t actually tell me to stop and leave her alone so I have to get a grip once in a while. But boy, is it hard to do.
I can’t help but kiss her checks, eskimo that nose, hug that squishy belly, brush her long hair out of her eyes, tell her I love her over and over throughout the day, hold her hand, touch her toes, scratch her back, rub her shoulders. Really, I could go on but I am sure you get the idea. And I am even more sure that you see a resemblance of yourself in me. We love our babies — it’s a fact.
But Does Your Baby Love You Back? Probably Not. 🙂
Okay, I’m Kidding… the Obsession is Likely Mutual!
Whether all that parental love is reciprocated or not is a bit trickier. Or so we think as parents during those especially stringent moments of parenthood when you get slapped in the face, ignored, or yelled at in baby talk. Our insecure tendencies make that voice louder than ever that so many times whispered loudly and hotly into my ear, “She can’t stand you!” Believe me, I know the feeling of wondering if my precious little baby girl would rather walk off with the next person that picks her up. Of course, I know this is not true. But we all experience times where we all drown in our insecure humanity, don’t we?
The truth is you are your babies world. You are the life source quite literally. You are food, you are water, you are laughter, you are cleanliness, you are peace, and you are always there. There is no doubt that your baby loves you.
Babys Love Language
Do You Speak Baby Love?
Here are a number of ways your baby is telling you he loves you to pieces!
Cuddles. Your baby lays his head on your shoulder and cozies up to you in times of stress, tiredness, or just because (the just because one is especially sweet, isn’t it?) – that’s love
Home Base. She looks for your protection in new environments. New people, places, or sounds have your little one dart to ward you and hold on for dear life – that’s love.
Mr. Independent. He may go off on his independent way but he checks to see where you are. It may be sly and slick like a teenager afraid to get caught by his friends looking at his mama for reassurance but he looks at you and you, reassuringly are there. He knows this and this is why he looks for you and your approval – that’s love.
Paging Dr. Mom/Dad. She crawls/runs to you to soother her boo boo. Uh-oh! Skinned knees? Bumped head? Bum flop? There is no one that your baby would rather have soothe her pain that you. You are the Dr. Make it Feel Better in her world and that is big. She trusts you to make her pain go away – that’s love.
A Look of Love. He looks you deep into your soul. You know those looks that seem to stare into your very soul. They last a few seconds or go on for a few moments longer but this is your baby studying you. It is his attempt to remember every little detail of your face. Your face is a very important face and there is not face that means as much to him as yours. These little moments are so precious. Especially because they rarely take place between your baby and anyone else in his life – that’s love.
Copy Cat. She copies your facial expressions and body movement. From babble to blowing raspberries my kid mimics everything I do! It’s pretty hysterical if you ask me. About 2 months ago, I was hanging out with my mom and baby girl and without thinking, I slung a hair band across the room, just because. I didn’t think much of it until I saw a second one zoomed past my head a few minutes later. I looked at my mom, “Did you just throw a hair tie at me?” She looked puzzled. Then we directed our attention to little Bean who was playing with a brush and a few hair accessories. “No way”, I thought to myself. There was no way a 13 month just watched me use two hands to shoot a hair tie across the room. So I gave her another one (I know, I know not the best example… I wasn’t thinking, remember? And yes, I’m working on being more aware of my auto pilot). Sure enough she fiddled with in forming her little hands exactly like mine were until she finally propelled that thing clear across the room. So yes, even when we think they’re not watching they are. And they are soaking you all in – that’s love.
He Throws a Fit. There are many reasons that babies throw a tantrum. One of them is love. Hard to believe that your baby shows his love by throwing a fit. But isn’t it totally plausible that he is trying to convey a sense of urgency or simply trying to tell you how he feels without the luxury of having a lustrous vocabulary to do it with? And if so, it’s safe to say that when a child addresses you with a tantrum it’s his way of saying that he has an issue only you can fix or that he feels free enough to share with you exactly how he feels about a distressed situation? He feels safe to be at his worst because he knows you’ll love him just the same – that’s love.
S’okay? She wants your approval. Look at her pick that big toy up. Check out this new book. Look ma, I have five toes. Whatever your kid discovers she want’s you to see and bask in the exploration with you. I adore when my 14 month old picks something up that I point to. There so much pride in those eyes as she lugs a humungous toy behind her to show me what she discovered. Their daily treasures and adventures are nothing without your approval and engagement – that’s love.
Swoon. He lights up when you enter the room. Even if it’s after only a minute. There is a beam of smile from ear to ear when you are reunited again wither its a minute or an hour later – that’s love.
Cue Tears. She bugs out if you leave. In that instance when your baby notices you leave or trying to sneak out of the room they start to lose it. There is nothing else to add here. Your baby can’t stand being without you – that’s love.
Chmok (Russian for ‘muah’)! She gives sloppy kisses – that’s love.
Tips on Bonding with Your Baby
Do You Speak the Same Bonding Language?
Bonding and creating an ever lasting love is so important. Here are some ways to show your baby just how much you adore them!
Just be. Stay in the moment with your baby. Sit on the floor reading books. Watch her as she crawls or walks around exploring her surroundings.
Touch. Those hugs and kisses are a force of nature more powerful than ever thought, says Dr. Chopra. Mother-child bonding has evolved to become a complex physiological process that enlists not just our hearts, but our brains, hormones, nerves, and almost every part of our bodies. Massages, wearing the babe, back scratches, piggy-back rides, counting fingers and toes, brushing and playing with my baby girls hair (which is ridiculously long) are some of the ways we touch daily.
Be patient. Whether it’s feeding time or nap time, give yourself plenty of time to do these activities so that you can do them with pleasure instead of being rushed off somewhere. Don’t you hate it when you’re in a rush trying to fill a baby belly when PFT! and all that oatmeal is on your fresh n clean work outfit? Yeah, that’ll happen. So it’s best that you have plenty of time to change without a fit.
Pay attention. Studies show that maintaining eye contact with your little one makes her feel safe and secure, while also establishing the foundation for social skills needed later in life.
Speak your world. He may not understand the words coming out of your mouth just yet that don’t let that stop you. Reading, chatting, and singing are all great ways to communicate and bond with your little one. Reading is an all day affair at our house. We have our favorite books that we go through at least three times a day. The Little Traveler Series Board Books are those that we read over and over. These simple yet fun and educational books by Abigail Samoun will have your kids loving the adorable characters illustrated by the talented Sarah Watts while being exposed to languages from around the world.
We also love to swing and dance. Cheek to cheek stomping our feet to the soulful rhythms of Nina Simone and the electric energy of James Brown. Oh how she dances!
And I talk… A LOT! I tell my little sweet pea about all of the things going on around us. We talk about colors, textures, and places. I narrate my day as I brush our hair, fold laundry, crack eggs for breakfast, or pick aromatic tomatoes from the garden. She loves to point. That’s her favorite thing starting at 10 months and still going strong now at 14. I take this opportunity to tell her all about the object she’s pointing to… “Yes, that’s a tree. It’s green with leaves in the summer and bare in the winter. Birds build nests in there and lay eggs. They give us oxygen and shade. Leaves come in all sorts of colors. Sometimes mama doesn’t get it quite right and this too, becomes a game as I follow that erect little finger persistently pointing to an unidentified or invisible (I am not 100% on that one yet, I’ll get back to ya) object. We have fun with it though. Do you play? Anyhow, moving on.
Co-sleep. Research shows a benefit of co-sleeping is infants virtually never startle during sleep and rarely cry during the night, compared to solo sleepers who startle repeatedly throughout the night and spend 4 times the number of minutes crying. Startling and crying releases adrenaline, which increases heart rate and blood pressure, interferes with restful sleep and leads to long term sleep anxiety. Co-sleeping babies grow up with a higher self-esteem, less anxiety, become independent sooner, are better behaved in school, and are more comfortable with affection. They also have less psychiatric problems. Studies show that infants who sleep near to parents have more stable temperatures, regular heart rhythms, and fewer long pauses in breathing compared to babies who sleep alone. This means babies sleeps physiologically safer.
Check out Dr. Deepak Chopra on Mother-Baby Bond: The Biology of Love and check out the new scientific images that reveal the biological bond between mother and child.
It’s a Phase
Most likely, it’s a phase. No baby hates their parents. Sure, there are personalities to consider. Trust me, I get the whole moody, bossy, and udderly hysterical Queen Bean worthy tantrum throwing baby. And even though the hands still flail at almost 20 months and catch my lip or eye here and there, she is more cuddly and loving than ever.
Watch for those subtle cues that your baby is totally into you. They are there, I am sure of it!
Your Turn Bees
Okay Bees. What did you guys and gals think of this post? Do you see your little ones signs of love? Got one that isn’t on the list? Get in on the comments below and share your love! Thanks, as always for reading, supporting, and sharing my lovely posts. Love you Bees! Till next time…
Benefits of Co-Sleeping | Ask Dr Sears. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/scientific-benefits-co-sleeping
The Conversation: The Biology of Love Part II [Video file]. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Z8MXd7ugEo
The Conversation: The Biology of Love [Video file]. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZjrx98OPFE
Harmon, K. (2010, May 8). Birth of a Bond: Illustrating a Year of Mother and Baby Development – Scientific American. Retrieved from http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/illustration-pregnancy-bond/
How to Tell Your Baby Loves You | Babys Healthy. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://babyshealthy.com/baby-development/how-to-tell-your-baby-loves-you.html
Onderko, P. (n.d.). The New Science of Mother-Baby Bonding | Parenting. Retrieved from http://www.parenting.com/article/the-new-science-of-mother-baby-bonding
Seven signs that your child loves you – BabyCentre. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a1040659/seven-signs-that-your-child-loves-you
Signs Your Baby Loves You | Parenting [Video file]. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.parenting.com/gallery/signs-baby-loves-you?page=12
Together, they explore the topics of gentle parenting, healthy eating, grateful thinking, yoga bending, nifty hacking, green living, soul searching, and mindfulness practicing.
She has lived many lives. She has seen great beauty and utter darkness. It makes her whole. She is strong and with your presence, support, and love right here, right now ever stronger!!!
Read more about her by visiting the Meet the Bee page or email her right now!
We hope you enjoy the adventures of Chewy & Bossy!