Move Over Richard Simmons
So, apparently I have made a few fashion blunders in the last several days. I have been seen in public wearing 80’s style clothing. My roommate in college–which was back in the 80’s, I might add–being the most fashion conscious person I know, is likely not surprised in the least.
My fashion woes began the other day. The weather had turned cold, and I pulled a blue sweatsuit out of my closet and threw it on. I only purchased this sweatsuit two years ago. It is a kind of clay-washed look with a crew neck sweatshirt that has an unfitted waist - it just hangs. The pants are ankle length with a loose elastic hem. Nothing screams, “I’m cold, I’m crampy, I’m grumpy, and I’m sitting around the house all day…except when I’m running necessary errands for my family” like these sweats. I was happy in them all day.
Until my 16-year-old son Ben looked at me and said, “Mom, that sweatsuit is so…80’s.” Okay, Ben is not really lacking in fashion sense, but I wouldn’t exactly call him cutting edge. My mouth dropped open in mock offense, and I asked, “What’s 80’s about this? I only bought it two years ago?” He informed me that it is not very stylish to wear all one color. And the elastic on the legs! Sheesh!
I went about the rest of my day a little less sure of myself, but not terribly worried.
And then today. Well, let me back up a bit. For those who don’t know, I am training for a marathon. Or I’m supposed to be. I am running with Team in Training and raising money to support the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. But when the weather in Alabama is still in the 30s at 9:00 I begin to wonder why exactly I am doing this. But I forced myself to pull on my running tights, a fleece pullover, etc. and head out the door. I had donned this same gear on Saturday, only I covered the tights with a pair of running shorts so as not to shock the rest of my running team. Except that when said shorts are on over tights, they crawl right up my backside. Even worse than they do when I’m not wearing the tights. Making the shorts rather useless, not to mention time-consuming as I spend every few minutes pulling them back down.
So today I brilliantly decided to forgo the shorts. It was a short solo run, and I would be going along the golf-course road, late enough in the morning that I was only likely to pass a couple of other women in similar running gear, with skinnier backsides. I could handle that.
About 2/3 of the way into my run, I noticed a mob up ahead. Uh oh. As I got closer, I realized it was a group of about 20 Army men and 2 Army women. Double uh oh. Suddenly the spandex-only on my bottom half was seeming like a very bad idea indeed. There was nothing to do but mutter under my breath, “It’s okay, I’m training for a marathon. It’s okay, I’m training for a marathon,” over and over as I passed them.
And then as they passed me back, I just pretended that I wasn’t jiggling “back there” and that I didn’t even notice them. And I wondered who in the 80s made wearing spandex alone seem like a good idea. And why it had seemed like a good idea on this morning in the year 2008.
Maybe I really do need fashion help. If any of you have advice, send it along, because otherwise I’m doomed to either dress like I did 20 years ago or take fashion advice from a 16-year-old boy.
October 28th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Thanks for the good laugh.
Hey, aren’t the 80’s back? Maybe your son is just jealous at how cool you are?
October 28th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
By “fashion conscious” roommate, I’ll assume you were talking about yours truly. You might be in trouble if I am the most fashion conscious person you know, but I do still have most of my FS sensibilities intact at the ripe old age of… (well, you know what age that is). Here’s my advice…if you are ever so crazy (er, brave?) to wear lone spandex on your bottom half, you might want to consider wearing a LONG t-shirt on top (under a sweatshirt or by itself). Not that I am training for a marathon (that thought makes me laugh quite loudly…I can’t imagine myself running for 26 feet much less 26 miles) nor am I wearing spandex. But, if I were, believe me, I would probably be wearing a t-shirt hanging down to my knees.
Cellulite is not a pretty thing.
And, I give you permission to wear monochromatic outfits. What does a 16-year-old boy know about women’s clothing, much less women’s clothing from the ’80s? If I remember correctly, there were a lot of fluorescent colors way back when. I don’t remember too many outfits of one color. (BTW, I’m not suggesting that anyone go back to wearing fluorescent colors. They were grody to the max). Let’s leave the critique of ’80s clothing to the people who were actually ALIVE then.
P.S. I’m very proud of you for your marathon efforts! (Funny…I typed “marathong” first…maybe you could invent those…underwear that don’t ride up when you run…just give me credit for the name). I’m going to go donate now before I forget again.
October 28th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Oh you make me laugh! I LOVE you!!! And I say that if you are training for a marathon you can wear whatever you want to!
Now off to clean out my sweat collection.
October 29th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
If it makes you feel any better, I’ve gone all over town and into stores wearing my horseback riding breeches and boots. Not only are they practically spandex, they are skin colored. And I wear them with black leather boots that come up to my knees … and it looks like that’s all I’m wearing on my bottom half. It’s either really brave or really stupid. Haven’t decided which.
Hey, would you mind dropping me a quick email so that I can get in touch with you privately? I’d much appreciate it.
October 30th, 2008 at 6:32 am
All one color is so 80’s??? YIKES!!! I do it all the time! And I’m doing it today! And I’m not gonna change!!! LOL I graduated in 1979 and I don’t recall this being in fashion back then…back then it was WORSE!!! Yikes! Some of those pantsuits were HORRIBLE!!! That’s just funny!
Kathy in West Texas
March 20th, 2009 at 7:47 am
It is now March, 2009. I too am training with TNT but only for a half marathon. I am 50. The whole reason I am on this blog is because I googled “women’s running gear that doesn’t crawl up my thighs.” Seriously ladies, is there no alternative to spandex? I need help. My event is coming up in April and all my other female TNTers are in their twenties, or they are already graced with lean marathoner thighs. Obviously I am neither.
March 20th, 2009 at 8:17 am
Sherry,
I’m in my 40’s, and do NOT have that lean running physique! I did use spandex or something like it. Another option, since the weather will be warmer, is a running skirt with built in spandex shorts. I got FED UP with–pardon the TMI here–yanking my shorts out of my butt every few steps. Even if I wore running shorts over tights, they still would creep up. I just wore my spandex and didn’t worry about it. At the race, you will see ALL kinds of outfits–I mean we had a guy in a cow costume, complete with udders. And the race was so crowded, I doubt very many people had time to examine my jiggly hiney in my spandex tights!
Good luck, Sherry, and congratulations on what you are accomplishing. There’s nothing like it!