Chewymom

As long as I can remember I have had a two-hair beard. I know! Gross! But there it is–I have facial hair. My mother had a one-hair beard throughout her entire life. Enter tweasers. Mom and I both just plucked it/them out every few months when they began to grow, and that was that.

A couple of years ago, it dawned on me that I had not plucked in a very long time. I felt over my face, rubbing it in a man-like way (you know, the way a guy runs his hands over his beard). No hair! I kept checking every now and again, but I guess I had finally just plucked the life out of the things. Either that or my hormones were changing. Which my husband would probably nod vigorously and say is true. I don’t know why. Has nothing to do with the hot temper, mood swings, or weight gain, I can assure you.

I tell you, when I realized my beard was gone, probably never to return again, I did the happy dance! Suddenly I felt more feminine! No more man-face! “Embrace the hormones,” I thought! Death to the beard–the female side has won!

Until a few weeks ago. When I kept feeling like I had a hair in my mouth. You know, that highly annoying feeling, and you try and try to locate the darned hair, and you just can’t! It would be there, and then it wouldn’t. Then it would reappear.

I finally found the offending hair. Attached to my upper lip. And falling into the corner of my mouth. That’s right, faithful readers. I am now the proud owner of a mustache. A darned long one, I might add. Well, I was the proud owner, I should say. I plucked that baby right off of my lip, darnit. And then I did a close examination in the mirror. Not only am I growing a long one-haired mustache, I am growing a short, dark, visible mustache only on the right side of my face! What’s up with that?

I think it’s time to call a salon for a full facial waxing. So much for embracing my hormones.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 9th, 2008 at 9:31 am and is filed under This and That. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.