Thank you for the suggestion, I WILL take my business elsewhere!
Call me insane, but I broke my long-held rule of only allowing my children to only participate in one extra-curricular activity at a time. Sally has had not one, not two, but three activities going for most of the school year. My reasoning was that she was in a 4-k class, and next year she will start “real” school. Additionally, I am taking a small class load this year compared to what I will face next year when I enter the nursing program. This seemed to me to be a good year to try ballet, gymnastics and soccer, all three, and decide which seemed the best fit.
Soccer ended after the fall season, ballet is actually during pre-school hours, so Sally just goes during school, leaving me only gymnastics to juggle, along with swimming, tennis, and two soccer teams for my other children. Sally’s gym class is one hour per week, and for the most part it has been enjoyable.
Except for the week that a teacher who normally works with an older group of girls took it on herself to correct the behavior in Sally’s group. And by correct, what I mean is that when the group of four little five-year-olds was told that they could crawl in the “pit” as they always do at the end of gymnastics, this teacher came SCREAMING at them, “GET OUT!! LEAVE!!! GO HOME! LEAVE! GO HOME NOW!!!”
Sally hopped out of that pit faster than a bat out of a very hot place and came running to me in fear. The whole way home, she cried and complained about the mean lady who had screamed at her. She decided she never wanted to go back to gymnastics because the mean lady might be there. So I composed a letter to the owner of the facility. Her response? “Well, if I had seen those girls I probably would have yelled at them even more!”
Not exactly what I was looking for. But I took solace in the fact that the gal who actually does teach Sally’s group is sweet and fun and does not yell. But in the back of my mind I thought, “If Sally gets yelled at one more time, we’re out of here.” I refuse to pay money to a place that is going to verbally mistreat children, especially when they were actually only doing what they were told they were allowed to do.
Things went on smoothly enough until last week. When I dared to sit in the spot where I always sit to watch Sally’s gymnastics. And the owner came around a corner and YELLED across the enormous gym for me to move. Surprised, I got up and stood awkwardly, trying not to block the doorway, but still attempting to watch my daughter, while two ladies near me confessed, “I’m scared of her! I thought she was going to yell at me!”
I said, “I’m not putting up with being bullied. If she yells again, we’re out of here.”
Almost immediately, the owner peered around the corner and called out, “READ THE SIGN ON THE DOOR!”
I did read it. It says not to block the doorway. So I asked, “Where can I sit to watch my daughter?”
She responded (still yelling across the entire gym), “WE HAVE A WAITING ROOM! YOU CAN WAIT IN THERE, AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, YOU CAN LEAVE!”
The waiting room is completely walled in, and there is no way to see the children. I marched around the corner, took Sally by the hand, and began to walk out. The owner stopped me and tried to explain, justify, etc. I told her I felt like she and I had differing philosophies on how to treat people–she yells, as do her employees, and she does not want parents to watch (and I pointed out that it made me wonder what she is hiding). I do not pay money for my children and me to be bullied by an old lady with a bad attitude who just happens to own a gymnastics center. And I must be allowed to see what my daughter is doing. Therefore I would find a place that could meet my needs and requirements.
And with that, I walked out the door, got in the car, and drove straight over to another gymnastics class in our town. Which just happened to be having a class right then, and they invited Sally to stay and try it out! While I watched through the large window between the gym and the waiting room. And to add to Sally’s delight, one of her best friends ended up being in the class!
March 5th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Good for you! I can’t imagine paying money so that someone could scream at me and my children. Even less, I can’t imagine someone taking money and then screaming at the very person paying for it.
I teach martial arts. We’re pretty strict and disciplined. Some parents love it. Some don’t, because they think their little Buford should be able to do martial arts in his own creative way, when and how he feels like it, without some meanie insisting that he line up, follow safety rules, and not kick the walls instead of the punching bag.
Sometimes I teach and somewhat of a higher volume than my normal speaking voice. Sometimes I’ve had to fuss at a student. But I don’t scream. I am also a stickler for the idea that parents should be allowed to watch their children in class. I would never allow my children in an activity where I could not observe the classes. It surprised me how many martial arts schools do not allow parents to watch. To me, that is downright scary.
When we teach our little kid class (ages 5 - 7, with a few 4 year olds) we don’t “fuss”. We’re very gentle. We let them get by with stuff we’d never let the older kids do, because we’ve noticed that this age group is much more sensitive, easily scared, and bewildered by the more disciplined structure of our other classes. That doesn’t mean we let them run wild or do anything unsafe; we’re just more low key and regimented.
Give your little cutie a big hug for me. It makes me feel awful that she got screamed at!
March 5th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Oops…tons of typos! I meant “low key and LESS regimented”. And I hope people can muddle through what I meant by the rest of my disjointed comment.
March 5th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Yay for you! Good thing you had another option! I remember being scarred for life by a PE teacher who only yelled at us — and I was a pretty active kid — but after that I absolutely hated any sort of Presidential Fitness regimen like running around a track or pull ups or sprints. I refuse to do them to this day…to my detriment!
March 5th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Good for you, sticking up for yourself and your kiddo! (and yay for the new class, which sounds way better anyway)
March 6th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
GOOD FOR YOU.
Our gymnastics class is very parent-friendly AND kid-friendly and I just love it.
Some folks just don’t “get it” until we make our money do the talking—-and take our business elsewhere. Hopefully a few more parents will have the guts you had, and then maybe the owner will get a clue.
March 7th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Rebecca, I would love a teacher like you–that would be RIGHT UP my alley! Structured, high expectations, but kind. Why do people seem to go to one extreme or the other? I guess it’s just our human nature. That is half of the problem at that gymnastics center–the sweet teenagers who teach the little kids don’t know how to keep order and structure, so the older ones end up screaming at the rowdy kids. A little balance would go a long way….
Allison, that just stinks that a bad teacher can ruin an entire subject area for a kid. I know it happens all the time. Yes, I’m really thankful we had other options. And Sally loved the class at the new place.
Thanks, Skerrib! I wish I had walked out the FIRST time Sally was yelled at….
Molly, I do hope that some of those moms who were cowering in the corner, confessing that they are afraid of the lady who owns the place will consider walking out as well. I ran into one of them yesterday. I think she just thinks I’m insane, which seems to be a common opinion of me these days for a number of reasons….
March 8th, 2008 at 1:50 am
Good. For. You.
(Can I just share how thankful I am for my kids’ sports activity? It is just my speed. Non-competitive. Low key. Run by the really great h/sing family two doors down–the dad and older boys are incredibly patient while being firm. It’s at the park within walking distance of our house. We are incredibly spoiled by this! Oh, and it meets just twice a month–which, for me, is all the commitment I’m ready to make. Bonus? The boys are learning baseball, to round out their two years of “American” culture and history studies!)
March 10th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
couldn’t be prouder!!! i wish more mom’s would have enough confidence, self-respect, and concern for their children to act on COMMON SENSE rather than seeking approval, protecting appearances, and worrying about offending someone. you might FEEL insane, but trust me, its the town not you!