Chewymom

I laid the piece of masking tape carefully on the floor. Our house had a very open den and kitchen area, separated only by a 1/2 wall of cabinets. The kitchen itself was tiny–really only enough room for one person at a time to work in there. There was a gas stove, which always made me nervous with three small children underfoot, not to mention quite a few things I did not want grubby little fingers to find.

When I heard about the tape on the floor idea from a GFI contact mom, I thought it sounded great! You lay tape on the floor and train your toddlers to stay on the other side of it. The advantage of this over a gate is that you could easily use this rule at other people’s homes. Really, the tape was just a friendly visual reminder, not a real boundary. So the young child was learning self-control, rather than just a boundary.

So, I ran the tape across the floor and began teaching DS14 (three at the time) not to cross the line. DS14 was a very compliant little child, and it did not take many negative consequences before he learned that the tape was not to be crossed.

Fast forward eleven years—This morning in Sunday school, DH taught on Luke 10:38-42–the story when Martha becomes exasperated because Mary won’t help her and asks Jesus to intervene. The topic was practical legalism. We examined ourselves to see when our own rules and behaviors, even though good, cause us to fail to look at the person. Jesus looked at people–and I don’t just mean with his eyes. He saw into their souls and knew each one personally. He perfectly understood the needs of the moment. Even though Martha was slaving away, trying desperately to minister to and show hospitality for Jesus and his disciples, Jesus understood Mary’s need of the moment. Even though Mary was breaking societal rules and norms by sitting at the feet of a rabbi, Jesus knew that she needed to be there. Martha’s desire to serve was not bad in any way. But she failed to truly look at Mary and see the real need of the moment.

And that is what I did with DS14 those years ago with the tape. I had a need–to keep my kids safe, to keep them from being underfoot in a tiny kitchen, and to keep them from potentially dangerous kitchen items. And yet, as I punished DS14 any time his little foot crossed over the line, I failed to see HIM. I did not consider his need of the moment–whether he just needed some Mommy-love and attention. I saw his behavior. And my treatment of him reduced him to a project, not a person. I failed to truly see him and the wholeness of his person. (And frankly, I think that sums up our whole GFI experience–failing to see the person each of our children were, and reducing them to a set of rules and expectations.)

Thankfully Jesus is not like me. He does not see me within the confines of rules and expectations. He does not look upon me with shame and disappointment that I could make Him look so bad by failing to follow his rules and expectations. He looks at me with love, and He sees me. He looks fully, and He sees deeply–beyond the externals and the appearances and straight to the heart. He even sees beyond the superficial, beyond the facade that we all put up in front of other (and even in front of ourselves) and sees with perfect eyes. And do you know what is on His face as He looks upon us? Pure love.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 29th, 2007 at 7:11 am and is filed under GFI/Ezzo/Babywise, Mommy Musings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.